Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Feeling Blue

The last few days I have been feeling pretty blue.  Bobs level of confusion and memory loss seems to have taken such a huge decline. Before --after a few days of really bad times like this he would kind of "snap out of it". This time it seems it is to be a permanent decline.
 And this time it just seems really bad. He has to be guided step by step do do anything. If you take him in to get his PJ's on.. he will just stand there after they are on. I normally shut the light off and he follows me out to the Living room for another hour of TV. Now he will stand there in the dark room. I have to grab him by the hand and guide him back to his chair.
 He goes in circles looking for the kitchen or bathroom. walking right past them in his search.   Our house is tiny.. how does one get lost in a tiny house?  Yesterday he handed me his watch-- The watch he absolutely loves and said,  "Here I found this, wonder who lost it". He takes his wallet out of his pocket and turns it over and over in his hands and then will say " I have one just like this". He will walk past his favorite chair and tell me " I have one of those-- but mine is newer"
 Yesterday he wanted to show me his "leather" work and acted like it was the first time I would ever be seeing it. He doesn't remember that I used to tool it, sew it  and dye it right along side him.
 So many things that he is doing and saying that let me know he is rapidly slipping away from me. .
I guess I should be happy he has found a little of his voice once again-- But its not really Bob..and I know it.
Yes I am feeling quite blue....
Photo: Off our front deck. Stormy skies.

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