Monday, November 4, 2013

The Craziness of it All

Unless you are an Alzheimer's caregiver it is almost impossible to either understand or comprehend what it is like living with "it" constantly. Once the disease strikes you get to witness the craziness of it all. Not just the bits and pieces that visitors, physicians and family see. 
This is a disease that is not only difficult to understand, it is a disease that turns your world upside down.  Just imagine- the person you have known for such a long time - suddenly changes- behavior- personality- likes - dislikes. This person, your loved one, begins to act out behaviors that you have never seen or experienced before. Not all bad-  But some definitely not good.
It is difficult to describe the range of emotions I might feel in a single day. Imagine being happy then sad, caring then angry, focused then frustrated. Its an endless stream of emotions that conflict. Knowing that Bob is going to forget simple things like how to brush his teeth, how to take a shower, and even how to eat is not a pleasant feeling, but one I can deal with. Yet knowing that the day may come when he is not going to know who I am, is the worst feeling of them all. THAT is the day I feel like I need to prepare myself for, and the day I am dreading the most.
I Really Hate this disease.