Friday, December 13, 2013
There really is a delicate line to walk. I have to give Bob things to do, yet I must make sure they are things he is able to do. Sometimes the “simplest” thing he did just a week ago is now something that seems to be an impossible task. And Sometimes-- I forget he can’t do it. We spent years learning each other.--. You know what I am talking about. In every marriage there are the things one spouse does and other things the other spouse does. It is hard to quit expecting Bob to keep up with his side of things. On top of that, he is still completely aware of what he isn’t able to do . For the most part, he does a fantastic job, but I know it hurts him and it makes him sad when he cant accomplish a simple task that used to come so easily to him.. When I don’t give him anything to do, he wanders around the house, lost in thought or trying to figure out what to do. I am not sure. But either way, he does better with a list of items he needs to get done. Sometimes I find it hard to write words to share with you. Not because I don’t have a lot to say. But because I am hurting. I am sad. I am depressed. I have a problem that I can’t fix. No one can. And why bitch and complain when there is no solution? Makes me feel better for only a fleeting moment and then I feel bad that I felt that way- Its a vicious circle of feelings..You'll have to Excuse me once in while if I have a pity party. I've been feeling very "alone" the last few days.